Healing through Memorization
Few other instances of loss can be equated with the pain of losing someone we love. Grieving is intense, and it might feel like part of us has been torn apart, like a severe vacuum exists that nothing else can fill. At those anguished times, we turn to our memories for solace—the furtive images of those precious moments we spent with the one we lost. These are the very memories that become a solace, a way to continue the presence of our loved one in our lives, even when they may no longer be physically present.
The Lifeline of Remembering
Memories can lift us up and put us back into times of joy, laughter, and love. They are stories we carry inside, defining moments for relationships, and reminders of bonds shared. For most, these memories turn into a lifeline with which they are able to work through their bewildering emotions of grief. They have the opportunity to again connect with the core being of the person who has passed on and provide continuity through the throes of pain.
Copulating the Pain of Fresh Loss
Amongst the most poignant ways through which people get solace from their memories is by remembering. It may mean looking over old photographs, remembering moments that two people shared together, or just talking about the person that is gone. Every memory can be bathed in a mixture of emotions; yet, even the tears can be a source of healing. They remind us that the love we felt was real, and love does continue on after death.
Yet, the comfort in those memories isn’t so apparent at times, especially with new loss. Sometimes the pain of remembering becomes just too much to bear, and revisiting becomes unbearable. And it is in those moments in our lives that we could only allow ourselves to feel whatever emotions arose—be they sad, angry, even joyful—through tender approaches to memory, bearing patience, in those great moments that become part of healing.
The Healing Power of Writing
Writing may be a strong tool in finding solace in memories. Journaling about them, details of the moment—Moments: from that very first glance to that very last good-bye—or even letters to them will aid in processing the grief and keeping their memory alive. It is through writing that we can give vent to our feelings by putting into words how much we love and how much it hurts to lose them. It’s a way to create something eternal, something we can refer back to whenever the presence of those who have passed on in our lives is needed once more.
Honor through Stories
For some, like author Mary Lamb Lucas, writing becomes a way to pay respect for the memories of a loved one and share their story with the world. In her book The Trip of My Life, Mary takes herself back to the life of her son, Trip—who, alas, did not survive his act of suicide. Through her words, she brings into being an eternally alive spirit and captures a sense of what he was and how he influenced her life. This book, then, is in tribute to Trip and an example of just how much memory aids one in healing.
In The Trip of My Life, Mary reminisces, taking one through scenes of joy to that of love and finally to the sad moment she lost her son. It is through her story that one sees that even in bad times, perhaps there may always be solace in the thought of those who are no longer with us. Keeping memories alive, close to our hearts at all times, keeps those we have lost very close to us and their memories alive.
Keeping Loved Ones Alive Through Memory The comfort of memories is such a personal journey and affects each person differently. It is, however, in those very memories that we find strands of association that help keep our loved ones alive in our lives. We pay homage to their lives, their effect on us, and the love, which will forever glue us together through remembering.